


Everything was Fine Until It Wasn't

by AnnaBliss13



Series: Mean Girls Musical Series [2]
Category: Mean Girls (2004), Mean Girls the Musical
Genre: Character Development, Coming Out, F/F, Friendship, I can't tag for shit but I'm trying, Pre/mid/post musical, homophobic slurs tw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-03-30 21:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13960902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnaBliss13/pseuds/AnnaBliss13
Summary: For the sake of being truthful, Damian always knew. He likes to think that what drew him to Janis was the “don’t come near me, but also please do” vibe she had the first day of sophomore year. In reality, he’s aware it was probably his gaydar.





	1. I Trust You

**Author's Note:**

> Fic is written by me (Abby) along with advice and editing by Winona, my co-writer. Just wanted to expand on some ideas after viewing musical pre-Broadway.

For the sake of being truthful, Damian always knew. He likes to think that what drew him to Janis was the “don’t come near me, but also please do” vibe she had the first day of sophomore year. In reality, he’s aware it was probably his gaydar. Of course he’d never tell a soul that, unless Janis was ready to tell to people. Which she had made clear on multiple occasions, she wasn’t. 

“I’m not giving her that satisfaction, Damian.” was all she would reply.

-

She had explained what had happened to her shortly after they became friends. They had been at her house, her mom out running errands while the two watched a movie in her garage- turned-art studio. Janis had been acting off the whole day, but Damian chose not to press the issue. If she wanted to share what was troubling her, she would. 

Evidently, she did.

Midway through the horror on the screen, she had started talking so softly, Damian could hardly hear her. Turning his head to face her, he saw his friend, who had not yet come into her own, looking down at her knees, which had been held up to her chest on the couch. The boy questioned what she had said, and she sighed before she continued.

“I said, do you know what caused me to leave in eighth grade?” She asked again, louder this time, but still clearly hurting. Damian shook his head, his eyebrows raised in question. 

“It was Regina.” She started, before hesitating, and continuing on. “Well, it wasn’t  _ just  _ her, but she wouldn-she didn’t..” She stopped again, and Damian saw tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes. She started again with a new train of thought. 

“Have you heard any of the things people at school say about me?”

Of course he had, the Plastics’ vile rumors had been everywhere once she came back. He only transferred to North Shore for high school, but from what he had heard, there had been a lot he had missed in the area’s middle school years.

“I’ve heard bits and pieces, but I would much rather hear you explain what happened.”

Janis cast her eyes down at the popcorn in her lap before sighing and eventually looking up again.

“Up until eighth grade, Regina George and I used to be best friends.”

-

“And the absolute worst part of this, isn’t the remarks I get in the hallway, isn’t losing the respect I had, it’s that she’s  _ right.  _ I don’t even think she’s fully convinced herself of her bullshit and is just trying to impress her fucking goons, but it just hurts so much because it’s  _ true. _ ”

As Janis began to break down, popcorn bowl long forgotten on the table, Damian leaned in and held the girl in a hug. It made sense now, why he had been drawn to her that first day, sitting alone in the back of the cafe. He pulled back from the hug to look her in the eyes.

“Janis, you should  _ never  _ be upset because of who you are.”

“It’s just, I’m so  _ stupid  _ to have actually thought I could trust her enough to tell her,” Janis said, throwing her head back against the couch. 

“Wait, did you? Is that how she knew?”

“Not exactly.”

-

“Um, Jan, you good?”

The bell had rung, signaling everyone to head towards their next period, but Janis had only now realized she had continued to stare off after her peers left. She whipped her head around to face her best friend, now next to her, as opposed to where she was seated previously, directly in Janis’s line of sight. 

“Yeah, sorry, I’m fine. Just tired.” She said, standing up quickly, grabbing her bag, and praying nobody saw her looking. “You ready for lunch?”

Regina simply shrugged and nodded, leading the way through the door and to the cafeteria. It still amazed Janis that no matter what her fellow students were in the middle of, they would turn to gawk and stare as Regina (followed by Janis, and occasionally some others) marched through the hallway effortlessly. She wasn’t particularly fond of it, but Regina didn’t seem to care, so Janis just let it go. It was easier than having to explain herself. 

Besides, she knew other girls desperately wanted to be in her place beside Regina. To them, being with Regina ensured the highest social standing they could have. To Janis, it just meant spending time with her best friend.

As the pair arrived at the lunch room, they walked over to their usual table and grabbed seats. Janis had forgotten to grab her lunch off the counter that day, and instead of going hungry, sucked it up to get the school’s food from the kitchen, with money Regina gave her. (“Hey, you covered the popcorn last time we went to the movies, I think we’re even, Jan.”) 

When she starting walking back to the table after paying for her food, however, she noticed some of Regina’s other,  _ new  _ friends whispering across the table. As she got closer, she heard some of what they were saying.

“I’m just concerned Regina, you have to understand. I mean she was  _ staring _ for like, half the class. Don’t you think that seems, I don’t know,  _ weird? _ ” Taylor, one of the newest people to start following the mob of people around.

“Yeah, I mean, in gym, instead of changing around all of us, she just goes into the stall,” Gretchen said.

“Wait, isn’t that the point of stalls?” Karen asked, looking like she was contemplating everything she knew.

“Well, yeah, but I mean,  _ still.” _

This could _not_ be happening. There was no _fucking_ way Gretchen _“My dad invented toaster strudel”_ Weiners and these imposing bitches were talking shit, no matter how true, about her _in front of Regina._ She couldn’t see her friend’s face from the way she was walking back, but she _knew_ Regina wouldn’t listen to those assholes. They’d been friends for years, and anybody would trust their closest friend over random thrill seekers anyway. At least, she _really_ hoped. It’s not like she wasn’t planning to tell Regina how she felt, she just needed the right time.

Janis finally arrived back at the table, quietly greeting everyone as a hush fell over the table, everyone suddenly invested in their food. She sent a quick smile over to Regina next to her and was relieved to receive one back.  _ Everything’s fine _ , she thought.  _ We’re okay. _

-

Later that night, Janis was over Regina’s house for one of their usual Friday night sleepovers they’d been having together since they could remember. The two girls had watched a few movies that night, but were now laying in Regina’s bed, starting to doze off. Something seemed off though, and whatever it was, Janis prayed it would go away soon. 

“Reg, are we, you know, good? You seemed kinda quiet tonight.” She asked anxiously. 

Janis wasn’t stupid. She knew exactly what the girls at lunch had been trying to convince Regina of. To Janis, however, it didn’t matter what those girls thought of her, she just hoped her friend would always stick by her side. She just had to find the courage to _ tell her.  _

“Yeah, I’ve just been thinking about some things,” Regina said, still sounding closed off.

“Me too,” Janis said.  _ Maybe now’s my chance to tell her _ .

“You know Jan, I’ve noticed you’ve been a bit off too. Especially when it comes to Shane and I or  _ our  _ friends.” 

Janis sighed, knowing this was true. “Sorry about that, I just don’t feel like we’ve spent much time together lately, you know? This is the first time I’ve seen you alone for like, more than five minutes this week.” She said, chuckling lightly.

Regina’s eyebrows drew together in confusion with her statement, and Janis immediately knew she said the wrong thing.

“Why does it matter if we’re not alone together 24/7? Can’t we spend time with other people without dramatics?”

“No, of course, we can, I was just saying tha-” Janis began backpedaling her thoughts, before being cut off.

“Jan, why are you like, so obsessed with me?” Regina asked, in dead seriousness.

Before Janis could even reply this time, she was interrupted by Regina’s bedroom door opening. 

“Girls, it’s time for bed okay? Regina, you have a skate class with your new teacher at 9, so Janis, I’ll have to drop you off early, is that okay?

“Yeah, that’s fine Mrs. George.” She replied, turning her head towards the door.

“Alright, night girls!” 

Janis went to turn back around to face Regina again, but the other girl had already turned to face the wall. 

-

“The next day, after I got home, I got a call saying I wasn’t invited to Regina’s party because the other girls were  _ worried _ , and then that Monday, when I got to school, someone had carved “ _ Dyke”  _ into my locker.”

Damian sat in awe at how horribly the poor girl had been treated, by someone who had dared call themselves her best friend. She looked so broken by the end of explaining the story that it scared Damian. In the brief time they had known each other, every time he saw her at school, she put on a face of not giving a fuck about what people say. 

Now, he realized, she does in fact care, but Janis is  _ never _ going to let that be known to anyone who she doesn’t deem fit to keep her secrets. He knew then and there he was going to stick by this girl through thick and thin. 

“Understandably, my mom was pretty pissed, considering I was only out to her at that point, and called Regina’s mom  _ furious _ , and that didn’t help the situation by any standard, and by the next week, I had left North Shore for a steady diet of online schooling and art therapy.” Janis finished, throwing in a light, anxious chuckle at the end.

“Wait, so why did you come back to North Shore?”

“I didn’t want people to remember me as the scared, pathetic  _ dyke.  _ I want them to know I don’t care what people think anymore, even if that’s not completely true. And the only reason I haven’t told anyone besides you and my mom is that I don’t want to give  _ that bitch _ the pleasure of knowing she was right.”

Before Damian could reply, she quickly added, “Besides, if I hadn’t come back, I wouldn’t have met the best friend I’ve ever truly had.” 

The two still smiled at each other, despite the obviously present tears in Janis’s eyes. The girl took a deep breath and shook her head slightly, clearly indicating she was done talking for now.

“Alright  _ dahling _ , shall we continue our  _ fascinating  _ binge of the Final Destination franchise?” Damian said, effectively changing the subject.


	2. Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half of Janis's speech is like straight out of the musical, but other half is my own take on the situation.

Junior year was going to be different for Janis, Damian could tell. After she came out to him sophomore year, it was like a burden was lifted off of her. She came to school wearing outfits that you could tell made her happy, as opposed to hiding behind the black and grey she previously wore. 

Then had come the hair, her haphazard ombre and shaved side of her head, a large improvement from the two braids she previously pulled it back into to keep it contained. The more she changed her appearance, the more Damian knew she _truly_ didn’t listen to others comments, especially Regina’s. He seemed to notice, however, that the more confident Janis became, the fewer comments Regina would say. While others may have joked, she stayed eerily quiet, like an animal waiting to pounce.

-

When they met Cady properly in the bathroom following their morning classes and she sat with them at lunch that first day, Damian thought him and Janis had warned her away from the Plastics thoroughly. However, fate found a way, and an opportunity arose for Janis. Damian was more hesitant, but messing with the Plastics  _ was _ entertaining, no matter the consequences. 

The trio of misfits had just finished planning out the next phase of “Operation: Revenge Party” at Janis’s place when Damian finally approached the subject. With Cady having been picked up by her mom, it was the perfect opportunity.

“So now that she knows about you and Regina, are you going to tell her the truth?”

Janis turned to look at him from where she had been preparing more snacks and sighed overdramatically. He had taken that as a _no_ before she elaborated her reasoning.

“Not yet Damian, not when she’s so close to them.”

-

Sure enough, things blew out of proportion, and the night of Janis’s art show was eventful, to say the least. He was there with her as her portrait of the three of them won first in the teen division. Since Cady was away, and her mom was on call at the hospital, he was the only one there for her, but he could tell she didn’t particularly mind. 

When they were driving home on his grandma’s jazzy, however, he instantly recognized an attitude change as she scrolled through her phone. 

“We have to go to Cady’s house.”

“Why?” 

“Just go, Damian.” She said, hurt evident in her voice.

-

It was only after they returned to his house that she let the tears fall. She stayed quiet on the drive back, just hugging him from the back of the scooter tightly, her head resting on his shoulder. Cady’s words felt like a stab to the chest for Janis, and she didn’t even know what to do because it was  _ her  _ fault Cady was this way. She should have never had her fake it with the Plastics, it was petty and childish and she had realized that after the fall of Regina, but it was too late by then. Cady was a bonafide Plastic.

The two friends were quiet as they sat on his couch, taking in the situation. Janis began to bitterly laugh before she turned to Damian and said, “This is why I didn’t tell her. I managed to get fucked over by _another_ Regina.”

-

The next day was when shit  _ really _ hit the fan. When Janis and Damian walked into the school, flyers were  _ everywhere _ , girls were  _ literally  _ attacking each other in the hall, and as the two struggled to make their way through the hall, they finally found their own flyer.

_ Janis Sarkisian: DYKE _

“Wow, that’s original,” Janis said, frustration building. “ _ Damian Hubbard is too gay to function.”  _ That’s only okay when I say it!” Damian stopped for a moment before looking at Janis.

“Only Cady could have written that.”

With Mr. Duvall calling the Junior girls to the gym, Damian glanced over and saw Janis’s face wasn't giving away any emotion. He decided to sneak into the assembly because whatever was going to happen, he knew he needed to be there.

-

The line had formed for the makeshift apology speeches, and overall it wasn’t as bad as Damian thought it would be. People, while being somewhat apologetic, were also unintentionally spending some really entertaining information about the inner workings of the groups within the school. He stayed quiet throughout the assembly as a way to stay somewhat hidden on the bleachers. After some girl from Damian’s old school district got on stage and started crying about rainbows, however, he intervened briefly.

“She doesn’t even go here!”

Ms. Norbury intervened to get the girl back to her track meet and then he saw it was Janis’s turn to go up. Knowing her it was probably going to be a quick, bullshit statement to get it out of the way. But just as she was getting onto the makeshift stage though, Regina, who had been pouting on the bleachers quietly since Ms. Norbury accidentally made everyone admit Regina was a total bitch, decided now was an opportunity to get back some of her credibility.

“Oh my god, it’s her dream come true! Diving into a big pile of girls!” 

As some girls started to laugh, all emotion was clear on Janis’s face. She finally gave  _ zero  _ fucks about this place and the people in it. 

“Yeah okay sure.” Janis chuckled bitterly. “ Yeah, I have an apology. I have a friend who’s a new student in school this year, and I convinced her that it would be fun to mess with Regina George's life.” 

_ Oh no _ Damian thought, _ Here it comes. _

“So I convinced her to be friends with Regina, and after they would hang out, she would just come to my house and we would make fun of all the dumb stuff that Regina would say. And we gave her these candy bar things that made her gain weight. And then we turned her two best friends against her, and then Cady, yeah, you guys know my friend Cady, and then Cady kissed Regina's boyfriend and convinced him to break up with her.”

At this, Regina, who was already shocked, began fuming, and Cady looked like she wanted to sink into the floor. The crowd around the stage was whispering and staring but were also enthralled by Janis’s every word. Even Mr. DuVall and Ms. Norbury were seemingly enjoying the tale Janis was admitting. Damian didn’t know where this was going to go, but was ready nonetheless. 

“Yeah, but the thing is, the whole time she was doing these things, Cady, my friend Cady,” Janis started again, tearing up a bit. “Became  _ just _ as bad a friend as Regina George. And believe me, I would know because I’m sure you’re all aware that Regina and I were friends too! But apparently, being friends with someone for years means  _ nothing _ to a person when the people who worship them like a  _ fucking _ goddess convince them that their best friend had the hots for them.”

At this point, Janis was entering dangerous territory, and she knew  _ exactly _ what she was doing. Damian was getting worried, and even Ms. Norbury was trying to get her to stop, but ultimately, she was powerless to what was happening.

“You want to know something, Regina? You were right! I do like girls, congratulations, woo-fucking-hoo. I’m so  _ done  _ with having to listen to all this petty, middle school  _ bullshit _ . That goes for all of you. When are you going to grow a pair and realize that these rumors and lies and societal standards  don’t matter  _ anywhere _ outside of high school?”

Some girls in the crowd starting shouting out encouraging words, and Janis continued to spread her message to the attentive audience.

“We need to stop bullshitting everything in our lives. We can’t just continue acting like everything is okay when it’s not. If shit happens, it happens, and we have to move on with our lives instead of getting caught up in it. Because it’s taken me a _ long  _ time to realizes this, but I would much rather embrace who I am than be stuck with someone who makes me want to hide.”

Regina finally hit her breaking point and stormed out of the room. Cady, tears in her eyes, left chasing after her. Meanwhile, the teachers seemingly had lost all control of this situation, but Janis seemed to be done talking, and she hopped into the crowd of people waiting to catch her below the platform. Without letting Janis down, the crowd carried her to the outside of the building with Damian laughing at the sight as he walked in tow. 

This spectacle was probably nothing like Janis intending her public coming out to be, but it was entertaining nonetheless, and seeing her smile out of pure confidence was heartwarming as hell for Damian. 

The crowd made it to the front of the building before they finally let Janis down and she spotted him in the crowd. He walked up to her, and hugged her tightly, as she continued to smile, and when they let go, he noticed Cady and Regina arguing by the street. He pointed it out to Janis, and she seemed disinterested in the whole ordeal.

Then came the bus.


	3. Oh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say but I do have two things  
> 1.) I've literally been working on the story for five months and it's the longest thing I've ever written. It feels very weird for it to be finished.  
> 2.) Modern day Janis works at Lush. You cannot change my mind about this.  
> (Thank you for reading)

Janis sat in her car outside of the hospital and anxiously fiddled with the friendship necklaces that Damian had gotten for her after she first came out to him. (“I’ll have the other halves, and if you ever need encouragement and I’m not there, just know I’m with you in some way.”) 

As she made her way up to the room number she’d heard through the rumor mill, she regretted coming more and more. When she finally arrived at the room, she hesitated before entering.

_ Fuck it,  _ She thought,  _ You’re already here. _

The room was private and, Janis noted, empty aside from the wall of flowers and of course the girl lying asleep on the bed. When she saw Regina laying there, she instantly felt more terrible than she already did about the situation. Between the bandages covering the scrapes and cuts to the brace, she looked, well, like she was hit by a bus.

Janis slowly made her way to Regina’s bedside table, taking the girl being asleep as an opportunity to leave the small, get well gift she brought and run. However, as she started to turn to walk out of the room, she heard a small voice croak out from the normally commanding girl.

“Jan?” 

The exiting girl stiffened upon hearing the bed bound girl say her nickname, one she hadn’t called her in years. Turning around slowly, she looked back at Regina, who surprisingly smiled in return.

“Hey,” Janis awkwardly spat out, the words feeling foreign and intense in her mouth. “How are you feeling?”  _ You idiot, she got hit by a bus, how do you think she feels? _

“Still breathing. Getting by.” Regina lightly chuckled, surprising Janis with how calm she was. “If you’re wondering about me being less than my normal self, it’s probably the drugs”

_ Oh right. _

“I don’t know, you seem like you used to be when we were younger,” Janis said, gently approaching the subject on her mind. Regina smiled again, and Janis was now fully convinced it was just the drugs. 

The two sat in silence for a couple minutes, neither knowing how to start a conversation with the other. Janis finally decided to break the ice.

“I’m sorry for what I said at the assembly. And for everything I did. It was...pretty shitty of me.”

“Can’t say I didn’t deserve it though. I’ve been a real bitch for a while now.”

“That doesn’t mean I should have done it.”

“Hey, it’s the least of my problems right now.”

Janis couldn’t help but chuckle lightly at the comment that came from the girl. That prompted another round of silence, this time longer than the first episode. Regina had begun to slip back into drug-induced sleep when Janis finally got up and began making her way towards the door. She was satisfied with her visit and was itching to leave before Regina came to her senses. She had her hand on the door and was just about to slip out of the room when a noise caught her attention. She turned around to catch Regina gazing at her blearily. She raised her hand to wave goodbye when Regina spoke, a little slurred but recognizable. 

“Jan?”

Janis swallowed shakily, afraid of what would come out of her former friend’s mouth. “Yeah?”

Regina continued. “Thanks for coming.” 

Janis felt a slight smile breaking across her face. “Of course, Regina.” She shut the door quietly and headed down the hallway, yanking her backpack straps over her shoulders and replaying the conversation in her head. For a moment as she hurried down the hall, Janis felt like she was twelve years old again.

-

The next time she saw Regina was when she was at work a few weeks later. Janis had been stacking black pots of beauty products when she spotted two spots of pink enter the store in her peripheral vision. Upon turning around to greet them with the usual, over the top customer service her manager would force down her throat, she finally saw  _ who  _ it was and instantly backtracked. 

The brace was still on, but the girl was evidently less drugged out, as she had the same look on her face she would walking down the hallway. However, her walk possessed none of the grace it did before the bus, and she seemed frustrated as she struggled to move her walker through the store. With her was her ever-amusing mother, Sabrina, acting half her age as usual. Sabrina had gone to nursing school with her mother, before the blonde dropped out to marry Regina’s dad. The two women had remained friends though, and Janis and Regina had become best friends as they grew up together. Well, until everything occurred. 

Janis had more than several stories of Mrs. George from her time spent with Regina. They used to laugh at some of her actions when they were little, but from what Cady had told her from all of her spy work, the woman was now just a complete attempt to get her daughters attention. She felt kinda bad, but then again, she felt bad about a lot of things.

The Georges had yet to spot her from her position on the other side of the store, and Janis desperately tried to catch her coworker’s eye to get him to help them, but he was helping some freshman with bath bombs. Right as she was about to go hide out back, Sabrina turned around and caught Janis’s eye directly.

_ Fuck _ , she thought.

“OMF, Jan-Jan is that you?! When did you start working here? Sweetie, I can’t even remember the last time I saw you! How are you? How’s your mom doing? I love your new hairstyle!”

With this outburst, Regina attempted out of habit to turn her head, but was just met with pain in return, and the noise she made drew back her mother’s attention. 

“Oh, Regina! I’m sorry I startled you, but look who works here! What a coinkydink, huh?!”

As Regina finally made her way to face Janis, she let out a half smile and a brief greeting, before returning to her frustrated attitude. Apparently, Sabrina didn’t realize the tension and continued rattling on.

“Jan, are you going to Spring Fling next week? We came to pick out some things for Regina’s outfit, and you know, this mall is the only one in the area with those cute boys from Abercrombie an-”

“Mom” Regina attempted to cut her off, but evidently sparked a memory in her mom’s head.

“Oh Jan, that’s right! I’m sorry, I forgot you don’t like boys! Must make working here ea-”

“MOM SHE GETS IT,” Regina screamed, drawing the attention of everyone in the store.

Janis must have looked as awkward as she felt in that moment, because her coworker shot her a look as if to say “what the fuck”, but she sent back another one that said “I’ll handle it”. 

“Oh, well then,” Sabrina said, the energy in her voice plummeting, “Regina, I think I’m gonna go look around for a little while, do you think you’ll be okay on your own in here?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She replied bluntly. Sabrina sent a quick look between the two girls, before exiting the store. 

Both girls were quiet for a moment, before Regina started making her way over towards Janis. 

“Sorry about her-” She began before Janis cut her off.

“No it’s fine, really, I know how your mom i-”

“It’s not fine, Janis. I’m sorry.” Regina said, and Janis suddenly realized they were no longer talking about just her mom. 

Regina looked like she wanted to continue talking, but Janis was not ready to have this conversation, let alone have it while at work.

“Regina, I really can’t do this right now.” She said, looking down at her boots. She heard the other girl sigh before muttering an agreement. Janis looked up, satisfied that whatever was going to happen, whether screaming or crying or both, was delayed for the time being. 

“Not trying to make this more awkward than this already is Jan, but since you work here, can you at least ring me up?” Regina said, holding up a small black pot of some facial moisturizer.

“Okay, yeah sure. You do know that’s literally the most expensive item we sell though, right?” Janis replied, looking somewhat skeptical.

“Your point being?” 

_ Of course, why would that matter to her? _ Janis sighed, before grabbing the pot and making her way to the register.

“Fine, but at least let me give you some samples.” 

-

“And let me get this straight, she tried to APOLOGIZE? And you stopped her?” Damian practically screamed over the Bluetooth in Janis’s car as she drove home.

“What was I supposed to do! I was at work!  _ Sorry Greg, I’ll be out back trying to sort out a friendship that ended with my public outing, you can deal with restocking the bubble bars.  _ Like that would have worked!” She vented in frustration.

“Janis, you’ve been waiting for this moment for YEARS. Don’t you want to hear her apologize? After everything she’s put you through, don’t you th-”

“MAYBE I’m just not ready to accept it, Damian, did you even think of that!?” She screamed, instantly regretting the tone in her voice. Sure Damian didn’t see why this was so hard for her, but he was only trying to help. “Sorry.” She said into the silence on the line.

The silence continued for a few moments before she heard a dramatic sigh, and knew he forgave her. 

“Are we still on for suit jacket shopping tomorrow?” He said, causing Janis to smile lightly.

“Yeah, that way I’ll have enough time to paint mine.”

“What a pair we’ll be, matching jackets and all.”

“Will you treat me better than you did Phillip?”

She heard Damian snort on the other line, before exchanging goodbyes and ending the call.

-

When the days leading up to Spring Fling finally arrived, she had yet to speak with Cady or Regina about what had happened. She’d seen and ignored Cady several times since she returned a few days prior, but she had only seen Regina once in class since the mall incident. Apparently, getting hit by a bus triples one’s already high social standing, and there’d practically been a mob around her 24/7 since returning from medical leave.

However, the day before the dance, during gym, or as Janis affectionately referred to it, study period, she found herself face to face with Regina. Again.

“What are you doing over here behind the bleachers?” Janis heard coming from behind her and jumped to look around from her position on the ground. Upon seeing who it was, her nerves stayed high.

“Jesus, at least knock first.” She joked to cover her reaction, but Regina just rolled her eyes, seemingly playfully. “Also, I should be asking you the same question.”

“Coach Carr said I could sit out for obvious reasons.”

“Understandable, considering the spinal halo and all.”

“No but really, what are you doing here?” Regina questioned.

“I have gym this period.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Pretty sure I do.”

“ I’ve had this class the whole year, and I haven’t seen you once.”

“That’s because I come here. Or if it’s too cold, I go to the library.” 

“Come on, I would’ve at least seen you in the locker room.”

“I haven’t gone near a locker room since eighth grade. Coach Carr said he felt bad ever since the  _ petition  _ was released, and has basically let me use gym as a free block ever since.” 

Janis was, of course, cutting straight to the point. In the past, she may have danced around the subject, avoiding mentioning what caused her so much pain, but ever since she decided to truly stop giving a damn about what people thought of her, it was a lot easier to be honest with how she felt. 

The two stayed put, surrounded by silence other than the occasional whistle from the field. Neither of them attempted to make eye contact with the other; Janis trying to prolong the eventual conversation, Regina reflecting on her past actions. 

The tension in the air was lessened, however, as Regina attempted to sit next to Janis on the ground, but failed miserably due to her brace. She started falling backward, and just as she was going to hit her head again the metal seating, Janis reacted and reached out her arms attempting to cushion the impact. It seemed to work, as Regina let out no sign of serious pain, if anything slight discomfort. 

Janis helped Regina get into a sitting position where she wouldn’t hurt herself, before sitting back and averting eye contact again. She decided now was as good as ever, and took a deep breath before speaking, still gazing off towards the parking lot across from the field.

“Regina I’m s-”

“I’m so sor-”

Apparently, both girls had the same train of thought, and cut each other off. Janis finally turned her head, and found Regina staring at her, looking the least powerful she had seen her since the hospital. She took another breath before continuing. 

“I’m sorry, Regina. I’m so so sorry.” 

She saw the other girl shake her head slightly as she replied.

“What are you apologizing for, Jan? You aren’t the reason I got hit by a bus.”

“No, but I’m the reason you rushed out of the school into the street, and I’m the person who recruited an innocent, new girl to ruin your life, turning her into a bitch in the process.” Janis said, tears starting to form in the corners of her eyes. She squirmed where she was sitting.   _ DON’T YOU DARE CRY IN FRONT OF HER  _ part of her mind screamed, but she ignored it for time being. This was too long overdue. 

The blonde thought for a moment before responding.

“When I got hit, I technically died for 15 seconds. I know that rumor is going around, but it’s medically accurate. I died, and then I woke up, back in the street, with my mom and Gretchen standing over me. And in that moment, it was like they didn’t realize I was a person anymore. I’d changed so much that they just seemed to forget I was anything but well, plastic.”

Regina paused again, crossing her legs and taking a deep breath.

“Jan, I’ve had a lot of time to think about stuff recently, and I’ve decided on three very important things. One is that you can only apologize for things that are directly your fault. Me being hit by a bus is  **not** your fault. It was my own choice to leave the building and start fighting with Cady. You didn’t force me or push me, it was me. As for the whole Cady thing, I’ll forgive you on one condition.”

Janis, who at that point had light tears coming down her face, scoffed and rolled her eyes. Why should she have guessed less than Regina having something to gain from this. 

“What?” She spit out quickly, crossing her arms.

“You forgive me for how I hurt  _ you _ .” The blonde shakily said before sighing, tears now beginning to form in her own eyes.

_ Oh,  _ Janis thought, surprised and relieved. 

“When I was reflecting on everything, I thought about what you said in the gym. We used to be so close, Jan.” Regina said, now crying with Janis. “I was a pretty shitty friend to you in the end.”

“Yeah, you kind of were,” Janis replied, looking down at her lap. 

“And I’m so sorry for what happened to you. The locker, the petition, the rumors, and everything that happened as a result. Because those are all directly because of something I did, and the second big thing I realized was that I want to apologize for it.”

Damian had been right on the phone the other night, Janis had been waiting to hear those words for  _ years _ . Granted, it only took Regina getting hit by a bus for her to say them, but she still said them. It wasn’t everything, and future actions would outweigh current words, but right then, it felt like a burden had come off of her chest. She smiled lightly, and wiped away some of her tears with the sleeve of her sweater before looking up at Regina again.

“I think I can forgive you.” At this, Regina smiled too, before it quickly disappeared and she let out a deep sigh.

“I just… I can’t even imagine how much pain I must have caused you. For god’s sake, you had to leave school and go to art therapy for two years. And don’t get me wrong, I had moments when I thought that what I was doing was horrible, but in general, I was just too caught up in myself to see your pain.”

“Don’t..” Janis struggled to find the right wording. “Beat yourself up too much about things that happened after I first left. Yeah, it hurt a lot, but looking back, I’m actually really glad I had the opportunity to learn about art. It helped me express things I was feeling when words couldn’t. And, it won me a huge competition a few weeks ago, meaning the exposure and prize money from that will help me get into a good college. So, I mean, that’s a plus...” She finished, chuckling, trying to lighten the mood.

“That’s really awesome,” Regina said, smiling once again. “I’m happy for you.”

The two were back in silence, sitting with the tension eased now that the much-needed conversation was over. As the bell rang signaling them for their next class, Janis helped Regina stand up, but right as she began walking away, stopped her.

“Um, just one more thing.” Janis began, tears gone and awkwardness back full force as she fidgeted with one of her necklaces. “Did you, like, _ know  _ about me, or was that just a rumor you went with after Gretchen and the others started trying to get more of your attention?”

Regina laughed lightly, which scared Janis a bit, before replying.

“Oh right, I almost forgot to mention the third thing I accepted while in the hospital.” She started, sighing contently. “When the girls started talking about you, it scared me so much, and at the time, I couldn’t figure out why. But in a way, I think I’ve actually realized why for a while, and that I didn’t know how to deal with it, so I tried to project my own feelings onto you.”

_ Wait, what was sh- _ **_OH_ **

As Janis stood frozen in shock, mouth slightly opened as if to say something, Regina cut in again.

“When you came out in the gym though, that was like, by far the bravest thing I’ve seen from anyone, like ever.” She started, smirking and turning slowly. “I better get to class, don’t want to miss more than I already have. See you soon.” She said, hobbling away, leaving Janis alone behind the bleachers, even as the bell rang signaling that she was late to class. 

“What the fuck.” She said aloud, as if someone was there to hear her.

-

Later that day, Janis was in her garage studio, painting the final details onto her jacket for the following night as Damian watched the latest episode of  _ Drag Race  _ on the TV. She had yet to inform him of her conversation with Regina earlier, but she knew there would be no way to predict his reaction to the fact that she and Regina had seemingly made amends. She wasn’t going to tell him everything, obviously, but the gist should be enough if he questioned her. 

She decided to wing it.

“So, something happened in gym today.” 

Damian instantly looked over to where she was sitting across the room at her desk, panic in his eyes. He practically launched forward on the couch.

“Did someone try to hurt you? I swear I’-”

“No, Damian, Damian, calm down don’t worry, it’s not a bad thing. It was actually...pretty nice.” Janis interrupted, motioning for him to stop, and slightly smiling. The tension left his expression, but the concern was still evident in his eyes as he sat back.

“Well, don’t leave me hanging.” He said, taking a sip of his drink.

“Regina and I apologized to each other.”

Janis had never had the opportunity to see a spit take in her life, but that’s exactly what she saw after telling him.

“ _ FINAAAALLLLLY,”  _ He said, dramatically dragged out, and not paying any attention to the soda split everywhere or Janis’s hysterical laughing from the other side of the room. “Spill, I need all the details.”

Janis sighed, looking back down at her jacket to continue her work as she talked. “There’s not really that much to say. She found me out behind the bleachers, and sat, well, fell down next to me, and we both apologized for being assholes to each other.”

“And that’s it? That’s a pretty short explanation for something years in the making.” Damian said, raising one eyebrow questioningly. Janis, ever one to take lessons from experience, realized it wasn’t her place to tell him everything that had happened, and kept her mouth shut.

Damian sighed, “After everything, that’s all you’re gonna give me for details? Jee Jan, you really are a  _ suspense _ artist” 

Janis only smiled and let out a snort from behind her desk.

-

Spring Fling was the mess of a party Janis expected it to be, and was already tension-filled not even a quarter way through the night. She and Damian were currently perched in the corner, observing the organized chaos from a table as they drank punch. Leaning back in her seat, Janis let out an unamused sigh.

“Why did we decide to come here again?” She asked as she took a sip of her drink.

“Becauuussseeee,” He matching half began, “As junior co-chair of the student activities committ-”

“Right, you’re required and wanted someone to suffer with. At least I know you love me enough to care.” She cut off jokingly, and Damian glared for a moment, but broke into light laughter after a moment of faux-seriousness. 

As the two continued to idly sip their drinks and take in the scene on the dance floor. 

“Did you hear Grace and Sonja are a couple now? Well, apparently they have been for a while, but your speech encouraged them to go public about it.” 

Janis smiled and continued to sip her drink, oddly quiet given her personality. Then

Damian noticed something, and the twinkle of curiosity in his eye made it obvious to Janis.

“What is it? Spill.” She said, shooting him a look.

“Nothing.” The awareness and entertainment in his voice keyed Janis off once again.

“Damian, what is it?”

“Fine, if you must know, a certain girl of literal steel has been staring at you since she left the bathroom.”

Janis resisted the urge to turn around and instead tried to shrug it off. Damian did not intend to let the issue go, but knew he was going to get nowhere for the time being. 

“Since you clearly aren’t going to answer my questions, lets at least go dance.”

Rolling her eyes, Janis still stood up, thankful her friend let the subject go. As the two got to the dance floor, Damian tried to lighten the mood as they started to sway lightly.

“You look so pretty in this light, oh wait we lost it.” He started, causing a laugh from the girl.  “Have you let Cady apologize yet?” He knew the topic of Cady was still a dangerous category, but it seemed like a somewhat calm time.

Janis sighed and looked down at her boots as she answered. “ I can’t, cause then I would have to admit that I also did bad stuff.” She left out that she wasn’t sure if she could handle two highly emotional conversations within less than 48 hours of each other. Seeing his friend hurting, no matter how hard she tried to hide it, made Damian react.

“Aw come here.” He said as he wrapped her in a hug, which she gladly accepted. With everything going on, Janis knew she had been a lot to handle lately, and the fact that Damian put up with all her shit just really warmed her heart. They stayed that way as Mr. DuVall announced the king, and then Janis heard the voice she’d been avoiding for weeks.

“Janis, can I talk to you? Please.” Cady said, dawning a mathletes jacket and seemingly on a mission. Panicked, Janis tried to get out of the situation.

“Um, not right now, I'm busy. My date and I are making out.” She whipped around towards Damian. “Come here.” She said, jokingly leaning in. Damian backed away and threw up his hands.

“Ew, Janis,-” He was going to continue, until the queen was announced and the crowd grew silent.

“Unbelievable,” Janis said, once again looking down, as Cady made her way up to the stage.

-

When Cady finished her speech to the crowd and apology to Janis, Janis was feeling very overwhelmed with everything. As Cady stepped down from the stage, she walked over to where Janis and Damian were standing. Damian seemed pleased enough with the situation, but Janis needed to take a breather. 

“Um, I’m gonna go to the bathroom, I’ll be back.” She said, averting eye contact with her concerned friends, and quickly making her way through the crowd. As she finally ducked into =the smaller room, she took in a deep breath and leaned against the wall, closing her eyes.  

She stayed that way for a few moments before she heard two familiar voices entering the restroom.

_ Great, here comes toaster strudel.  _ Janis thought.

The two girls stopped when they saw Janis, Gretchen looking unamused, but Karen seemingly joyful at the sight of Janis.

“Peace sign emoji! There you are!” The blonde said, beaming.

“Karen, for the last time, please don’t try to use emojis in a sentence while actually speaking,” Gretchen said, voice as miserable as she looked.

Janis lifted an eyebrow, and stood up straight at the blonde’s comment, ignoring the brunette. 

“You were looking for  _ me _ ?” 

Karen, still smiling, nodded her head enthusiastically, before she continued, and uttered words that once would have made her completely panic.

“Regina’s been looking for you.”

_ Shit _ . Janis thought, as though she hadn’t had an awkward enough night.

“She wanted us to come tell you to meet her in the hall,” Gretchen mumbled. “It’s urgent, apparently.”

Something more was happening than what she was being told, that was evident by the two vastly different moods the girls in front of her were in. 

“Did she say  _ why _ ?” Janis questioned.

Karen giggled while Gretchen rolled her eyes at the question.

“Not really.” The moody girl spit back, but surprisingly was nudged by the blonde to knock it off. “Okay, fine, Regina told us about her  _ secret _ . I’m not going to expose her,  _ obvs, _ but she mentioned she told you too, and my guess is it has something to do with that.”

_ Oh boy. _

Karen continued to giggle and smile before adding, “My guess is it’s the rule of twos.”

Janis’s confusion grew and if the expression of it on her face hadn’t been obvious before, it was now. 

“The what?”

The blonde rolled her eyes, somehow  _ not _ condescendingly and continued.

“I had to explain this to Cady too. It’s how everything is really two things. In this case, I used to think that even though Regina did all that mean stuff to you, she was also just trying to distract attention away from her own sexuality. But now I don’t think that’s entirely it.”

Gretchen whipped her head to face the girl next to her, “Wait, how did you know about Re-”

“Lightbulb emoji, duh. I thought it was pretty obvious after everything in 8th grade. And her reaction when Jan came back to school.” Karen continued, despite both brunettes now being confused. “Anyways, now I totally know it's that even though Regina made it seem like you had feelings for her, it was  _ actually  _ that she’s got feelings for  _ you. _ ”

Janis’s eyes widened, and she was suddenly ready to end this conversation. 

“Okay well,” She began loudly and quickly, “I’m gonna go now. Um, see you around I guess.” She said, walking to the door that led to the hall. She briefly heard a “Bye! Have fun!” come from Karen, and a sigh from Gretchen as the door closed behind her.

She took another deep breath and stepped further into the hallway in front of her, and was about to start walking forward when a small “Hey” came from the lockers to her left.

She jumped slightly, and remarked out loud, “Jesus, you really need to stop with that suddenly appearing thing.”

The blonde girl chuckled lightly, and Janis slowly made her way over to her. The lighting wasn’t much more than what was flowing in from the gym door windows to their right, but Janis could still make out the metal brace decorated with fake flowers.

“Is this what your mom ended up getting from the mall?” 

Regina sighed, humorously. “There was a Michael’s across from Abercrombie’s, guess she made use of her time in the flower section by the entrance.”

“I mean, at least she’s good at multitasking” The brunette joked.

“Oh yeah, really using her almost nursing degree skills.”

The two girls laughed, and Janis leaned back against the lockers, taking in the moment, and staring at nothing. There was a lot less tension between them today than there was behind the bleachers yesterday. In fact, she felt less tense than she had the whole night.

What Karen said was still in the back of her mind. Sure, when they were younger she had nothing but good feelings for Regina, but a lot had happened since then. Regina may feel the same as she did at 13, but she had also destroyed Janis’s perception of her. It had hurt Janis, and really affected who she is now.

She turned to look next to her, and found the blonde staring at her, her eyes revealing the sadness inside. Janis decided to speak up, but in reality, her voice wasn’t really powerful at all at that moment.

“So Karen and Gretchen came to find me in the bathroom,” She began, not really knowing where she was going to take this conversation. “They told me that you came out to them.”

Regina averted her eyes as she began speaking, “Yeah, although it was more so just Gretchen. Karen, well, she picks up more than everyone thinks she does, that’s for sure.”

“And you think you can trust them to keep it secret from other people?” Janis questioned, hesitantly. Regina laughed loudly, and turned her gaze back to look at the other girl. 

“God no. That’s why I told them.” Upon seeing the confusion in Janis’s face, she explained. “I’m just kind of done with hiding. I figured I’d embrace the new reality Cady is trying to shape for the rest of our high school experience. And if the news spreads quickly enough, it’ll be like ripping off a Bandaid.” 

“Yeah, trust me, I get it. Until the assembly, I only had the courage to tell my mom and Damian. You can only go through the whole, emotional process so many times before it gets to be too much.”

The door to the gym opened as a group of guys left, heading to the exit screaming “LET’S GO TP SOUTH HIGH!”, and the two girls waited until they left before Regina made her remark.

“Someone must have spiked the punch.”

The two laughed again before Janis realized how long they had been out in the hall together. She started to move slowly in the direction of the gym.

“Well, I should probably get back inside before Damian sends out a search par-”

“Janis, wait.”

The brunette turned around as she felt a hand on her shoulder, and found the blonde behind her. She started to look down, avoiding eye contact, but stopped. She was done pushing things off. She looked up, tears starting to form in her eyes.

“Regina, if.. If we’re gonna do this, you have to  _ promise  _ me I’m not going to regret it. I can’t go through what I did aga-”

She was cut off as the other girl leaned up, and gently closed the distance between herself and Janis. The kiss only lasted for a few moments, due to the spinal halo and all, but as Regina pulled away, Janis already knew she wanted to do it again. 

Regina looked into Janis’s eyes, and in complete sincerity said, “Janis, I promise you, I’m going to make things right between us. I  _ promise. _ ”

It took Janis a moment to react, but slowly she grabbed the other girl’s hands, let out the breath she was holding, and smiled softly. 

“You want to go dance?”

Regina smiled in return, and led the way back into the gym, one hand still clutching Janis’s. As the two made their way to the dance floor, Janis caught Damian’s eye, and he sent her a questioning look. She blushed in embarrassment, but sent back a smirk that said  _ I’ll explain later _ . He gave her a smile and a thumbs up, and continued chatting with Cady. 

When people started to take notice of the unexpected pair on the dance floor, they began to whisper amongst themselves, but neither of the girls could care. As Regina held onto Janis’s waist, her head laying by the taller girl’s neck, Janis only had one thought. 

_ Everything’s going to be fine.  _

 


End file.
